Tuesday, February 4, 2014

Spose and Cracked.com kiss and make up ; )



Hey guys it's Spose. 

So, Cracked.com fixed the article and added a disclaimer so it's all good!!! If you wanna read the original version with fewer jokes it is still available below. Shoutout to Robert Evans for his help in rectify this situation and being an all-around good dude:

Spose / Robert Evans

A lot of musicians dream of getting signed to a record deal. It’s like the musician’s equivalent of a high school ball player making it to the NBA. I was no different. Barely two albums into my career as a rapper, a song of mine became very popular and before I knew it I was being flown to New York and Los Angeles and playing on the same stages as my idols. One week I was broke, trying to finish college between changing diapers and delivering pizzas in my hometown of Wells, Maine. The next week I was in what used to be Puff Daddy’s office in Manhattan getting offered a recording contract that would net me over a hundred thousand dollars in just a few months.  Of course, like all good things, it had to come to an end. My fairy tale lasted 11 months before they abruptly dropped me from my recording contract without ever releasing my album, despite my first single going gold (selling over 600,000 copies in just a few months). In that short time, I got a crash course in the record industry: how it works, how they have no clue what they’re doing, how they exploit and manipulate young talent, and how to go from having nothing to everything to nothing again in a very short period of time. Luckily for me, succeeding in the age of Twitter and Facebook allowed me to maintain a small number of the fans the record label success garnered for me, and today I’m able to make a decent living off just my music with no label help at all. I’m thankful for the things I learned in my short time in the “industry” and probably wouldn’t be where I am today without it. It was still some crazy shit, though. My name is Spose and this is what I learned after getting a record deal.

1.     Labels Hunt for Unique Voices
My song blew up on the radio first. ‘I’m Awesome’ got played at my local alt. rock station, which was that station I grew up on. It quickly became the most requested song there, and then jumped to the local pop station. Keep in mind I’d only self-released two albums at this point. I was very new to the game, and suddenly the two biggest local radio stations are playing the shit out of my stuff.
The way the world works now if you’re blowing up on the radio you’re killing in iTunes too. I think there’s an intern at Universal who goes through the regional iTunes charts every week, from Des Moines to Albuquerque, and looks for outliers.
‘We know all the other guys on here. Taylor Swift, Bruno Mars, Ke$ha…who the hell is Spose?”
So this intern looks at the Portland sales and sees that I’m the #1 tune. I doubt I cracked the top 200 nationwide, but that was enough to get their attention. At this point, I’m 24 years old and totally broke with a new kid on the way. The day Universal sent me a $35,000 check for signing on with their label, my bank account was at -$800. I couldn’t even buy gas for my car.

2.     They are Casting a Role
When I was making music by myself, I’d make a song and show it to my friends. And if they liked it, that’s enough. I’d add it to my show.
But in the record industry you might make twenty-five songs and NONE of them ever sees the light of day. You develop real thick skin. I’d pour my heart into a song; spend all day making it…everyone in the recording room is up on it. We’d all be stoked, and then I’d send it to Universal in an email and a few minutes later, “Ehhhh…” To get that response to your work for the first time was A. shocking B. disheartening and C. a wake-up call. I realized then we were at the “you either win a grammy and sell lots of records or goodbye” point.
I grew up on Biggie and Jay-Z, these artists with real intricate lyrics. And that’s what I love about music. But that’s the opposite of what my label wanted. I got in the studio for the first time and spent like five hours writing only to hear:
“The verse doesn’t even matter man, write that shit tomorrow. We just need the hook. All Universal really cares about is a catchy chorus.”
And that’s what the industry runs from. You write the chorus, the pre-chorus, the melody and then just fill in the blanks. When it comes down to the music, the labels have a very narrow idea of what they want, and no new artist is going to change their minds. The producer they paired me with did a lot of dance music ‘bottles in the club, bitches on my junk’ type stuff. I don’t do that, and the song that got me noticed was nothing like that. But once I was signed, that’s the only thing they wanted from me.
I thought universal wanted me, my style and my music. But they just wanted to take my name, my sorta-notoriety from one hit, and plug ‘Spose’ into a bunch of pop songs. It was like showing up for a football game in…soccer boots, or whatever soccer has.

3.     It’s a ridiculous numbers game
For people in the recording industry, the whole world revolves around the “second single”. I recall one specific email exchange between Mike Karen, head of A&R at Atlantic, and Imran Majib who is the head of A&R at Columbia. We’d just made four songs in a night and they were convinced one of them was my ‘second single’. And in the course of a single week, they made me do sixty revisions of this song.
There was this guy named Owl City who got signed around the same time as me. We reached out to see what he thought about the label, because his song Fireflies had been a big hit and he was in the midst of trying to find his second single. Universal stuck with him, but he didn’t end up finding it for a couple of years. Until Carlie Rae Jepsen came out with ‘Call me Maybe’ and on her second big hit, he sang back-ups. Universal kept him around until they found a place to slot his voice in.
For every Macklemore who has a hit song and follows it up with another hit song, there’s a hundred more that never have a second hit. And I’m one of the latter. After eleven months, they didn’t a new VP came in and they dropped me.

4.     The Internet is a Blessing for One Hit Wonders
There’s no facilitator or middle-man between the artist and the fan anymore. If the fan likes you, they don’t need to be enabled by the label to like you. They can find you on Twitter or Soundcloud. I grew up listening to a lot of alt rock, so I think of the band Nottasurf when I think about one hit wonders. Now failing to follow up on a big success doesn’t mean you’re back to flipping burger, and it’s all thanks to the Internet.
My first big video ‘I’m Awesome’ got something like ten million views. When the single released on iTunes 850,000 people actually paid to download it. When I released my Mixtape recently, about 8,000 people bought it. So I was able to keep like, 1% of my fans paying. Just do the math: if you put out something for $10, and 8,000 fans buy it, that’s enough to sustain you as a musician. My album ‘The Audacity’ came out in 2012 sold the same number, $10 a piece. iTunes took a chunk, and then the cost of making that album (production, printing, studio time…) was probably six thousand. So I made a profit of $70,000.
I reinvested about $40,000 into new projects, but that left enough to cover rent and food and a nice Christmas. It’s not yacht-money, but I don’t have to play that game of trying to keep up appearances with fancy clothes and cars. That’s part of traditional rap nonsense, but my fans don’t expect that. The more I relate to my brokest fan, the more albums I sell.
I released the songs Universal hadn’t wanted in a free album called Yard Sale, and used that to advertise my Kickstarter. It brought in $28,000. And now that I have that small, loyal fan base I’m able to keep releasing music that’s uncompromised. I make all the money from my iTunes sales now too. I pay $35 to list it and get close to a dollar per sale. When I was with the label I made .16 cents per sale. I’ve made as much money in the last 3 years as Universal ever gave me.

5.     The Labels Convince Na├»ve Kids They’re Rockstars
They definitely seek out young people, and they are extremely good at making you simultaneously feel like their top priority AND like you’re fighting against a ticking clock. As soon as they called me the first time, they offered to fly me to NYC. I was in Suffolk College at this point; I step out of class and see I have 25 missed calls. I call back. Imran picks up and says, “We’ll fly you and anyone else you want out, first class right now.” If my MySpace had said ‘I like the Celtics’, they’d have had me courtside that very night.
They flew Monte Lipman in to meet me in NYC. He’s one of the tiny group who runs the record industry, and he came over to chill with me and have dinner. He’s like, “You wrote this song all yourself?”
I say yes and he starts flipping out, telling me to get my passport ready because I’m about to be huge.
Then he sends me an email on the weekend, mainly to let me know he never sends emails on the weekend. ‘I want to get this signed by Monday morning. Your song played huge when we tested it in Miami, we want to sign you and fly you down.’ But at the same time he’s like, “These references are VERY current and your record will expire really soon. YOU HAVE TO SIGN IMMEDIATELY.”
I’m sure that’s a common trick. But the industry does shut down completely by 5pm on Friday. That’s a fact. It was all just smoke being blown up my ass. Monte sent excited email after excited email about how big I was about to be and how we were “just getting started”. I think the last “just getting started” email hit about a week before the label dropped me.

6.     They Have Minions For You
The labels do a great job of making you feel like the center of the universe when you’re recording. The studio had these guys called runners. Usually we’d arrive at 3 PM and go till 3 AM. Sometimes we’d make one song, sometimes 4. The runners were there to keep us from needing to ever leave. We’d say, “We need Heinekens, Seagram 7, ice cubes, a quarter ounce of weed and we’re also going to need sushi.” A half hour later, the runner came back with a bag full of all that stuff, courtesy of Universal.
I met a lot of people who were caught in the record label game. This dude Matt Toka was one of the writers they brought into help us. I think a lot of these artists get signed for their writing abilities, not so much their musical potential. These guys all want to be stars too, but writing lyrics FOR stars pays the bills. There’s a probably a thousand of these guys who could’ve been like the biggest musicians in Duluth, or wherever.
These guys are like the label’s cronies. They can write or sing, and the label uses them like Swiss army knives and just slots them in wherever needed. And then when Bruno Mars gets the grammy, you get a plaque.

7.     You Write Songs by Committee
Writing songs by committee is real weird. It’d be me, the producer, and then four writers all sitting around listening to the melody they picked just trying to figure out lyrics.
I was in a session with Mike Karen and the writers, and we had a cool melody but they were trying to figure out what the song was about. Finally Mike says: “You gotta make it about a party…a party you like, filmed! You filmed all these chicks! And the refrain can be ‘…and I got it on caaamera’. They started getting deeper and deeper into brainstorming this song. They were shocked when I pointed out that this wasn’t at all the kind of music I did.
You get caught in this downward spiral where everyone’s a yes-man to the producer and the producer’s a yes-man to the label. So producer decides he wants to do a “caught it on camera” song,  and no one wants to contradict him so they just build on this shitty idea.



Friday, July 5, 2013

Everybody gets my lyrics wrong, so...


So people post my lyrics online all the time and they're always wrong. I have never once looked at my lyrics that people posted on RapGenius or anywhere else and seen them entirely correct. To remedy this, I'm releasing a Spose Complete Lyrics Book later this year after I get it printed and mailed to my Kickstarter backers. In the meantime, here's the lyrics to the first 8 songs on "The Peter Sparker Mixtape" (download here: http://spose.bandcamp.com)




1. Salami

I'm the broke moocher you don't wanna wake up with / But on mics? I'm realer than some a-cup tits / It's like I found out the weed was my first cousin / Cuz after I get it, we break up quick / They say I don't measure up I got more lines than a yard stick / and you're just trying to make out with a whip you're a car kiss (carcass) / 1, 2, 3 I went to preschool / Tell me what's new to brag about so I can be cool / I lay lower than the bassline's dealer / cuz the humbugs numb in their great-rhyme-feelers / You can play "Who's Snapback's Tealer" / I'm just trying to put it into words. / You should get some v-necks some kleenex / You all look crestfallen get back to yes y'all-in' / Still hungry as a kid I wasn't fed right / My clique's so ill I'm browsing hospital websites / Click.

[Chorus] I'm going ham I don't think that you noticed cuz there's so much bologna all over the focus / Yo… a couple more "yo"s / I'm going spam I don't think that you noticed cuz you got salami all over the camera

Delete your Faceobok to it / My peeps' teeth are looking like the Bruins': black and yellow / I been revered by a jury of my peers cuz I rapped like I'm under oath my whole career / It's not a novelty or comedy because I'm into honesty and modesty and never did a robbery / Hmmm… You got the clip that goes boom? / How many cyllinders in it when your whip goes vroom? / Because I could give a fuckin' fuck / I'm overseas with my speech like beach cover-ups (uh) / To you rhymers that are lying saying nothing much / To you vaginas I'm a c-section, I'm a cut above / I open up a beer, check my Gmail, treat beats like a cheap version of a therapist / I've had it up to "hear" like a sea sell, crumbs of the cannabis on a can of Sierra Mist / Please! My rap steez different / I got guitars "whaling" like a Japanese fisherman / Plus I got all my words pronounced / I'm no pretender a defender of the herbs and clowns / I put it down

2. The King of Maine

Yo, I wake up make a K-Cup then I blaze up, shave with a razorblade / My hat is still crooked I'm reading a book and my body was made in Maine / Man, I'm still deflecting all the bill collectors and I hate when they say my name / My buzz would be massive if I wasn't slacking and jerking to Jayden Jaymes / Celtics sticker on the bumper of a clunker but my vocals real / Fuck rap. I might sell my mic and buy a snowmobile / I can't relate to throwing money when she makes it clap / I can relate to doing dishes. We should take a nap: / Tired like Michelin of your wrists when they're glistening / We don't want no yacht to float but just a boat to go fishing in / Man my whole yard is a minor mess / Go hard till my dying breath / Owe bars to the IRS / We got no Rs in our dialect / Me and my peeps speak a different kind of speech / Where Verizon 4G don't reach (Can you me now?) / Coming live from where mill towns are still towns / Even though they shut the mills down /

But I'm feeling like the King of Maine / The King of Maine / Wear a seal-skin jersey to the Sea Dogs / I'm the King of Maine / Plow truck all gold never hydroplane / I tell em: Welcome to 207 / It's the way life should be everything pleasant / tell 'em: this is 207.

Hey, I heard the news in the street / That we're the shit and you're the pubes on the seat / Even though I triple bogey that par 5 / Rangoon with my mai tai / Steal another motherfucker's WiFi / Got Texas Pete on my Five Guys / I'm back / facts: spit a little bit but I never made a gat go cap cap pap / But my backpack on and I'm smoking / Being homeless is bogus so paying bills is my motive / Can't afford G4s I'm poor on tour in a worn '04 Ford Focus / Ayup / I know that this weed might be the death of me / but I got this "O" broke up like it's parentheses / I'm yellin ayup / I weigh a buck forty still but when my finger tips touch the quill / I'll be feeling like I'm Paul Pierce and I'm Rondo / I'm John Deere and I'm John Doe / I'm the rap star from the back yard who never act hard or went half-heart / I'm the Peoples Douche AKA The Truth / Everytime that I get in the booth I'll be feeling like

The King of Maine / The King of Maine / If you're Bat-Man I must be L.L. Bane / I'm The King of Maine / The King of Maine / I got Susan Collins giving everyone brain / I tell em Welcome to 207 / It's the way life should be everything's pleasant / Tell 'em: This is 207

I'm from the 420 - 213 / I'm on the throne if you're looking for who to unseat / I got mooseblood in my goblet / Lobsters in my optics / I'm live on the map where the dudes don't rap in the Altima black who I do go past come hop in / Find me chillin in Rockland / where the townies sell oxies so the coroners got coffins / It's my fault my paid because of what I say / I rock it for a profit pockets fat as Paul Lepage / Got a tattoo on my arm that says "Don't Stop" / cuz other guys told me otherwise when we talked / I told em Wells, Maine what the sign say / where I go ape with my primates / Rhyme great / 16s like 2 x 8 / Wine grapes and prime steaks / Damn I'm feeling marvelous / Had a hand with no good cards in it that I parted with / I'm an artisan / I think you're an amateur / Kids, cops, janitors all pull out their cameras when I walk out of Hannaford

The King of Maine / The King of Maine / I got a fuckin' elk head hanging on my chain / The King of Maine / The King of Maine / And all the state game wardens yell my name / I tell em: Welcome to 207 / It's the way life should be everything's pleasant / Tell em this is 207

3. All Rs

ridonkulous rhyming
ripping rare radical reefer rolled riding
rural rick ross regal riff raff reading rainbow renegade: ryan
recitations raucaus r-rated rawness
raspberry rubinoff ravioli rhombus
restaurant recipes robitusson remedies
rajon rondo rupture referees readily
revelers rocking rats roaming
raccoons rabbits rotund rodents
rigorously rebuke retards' retorts
raekwon raps roar rumbling rav-4s
rivals rebuttal, ry rarely reappears ruffled
revolutionary, rogue, russell
requisite rebelness real rappers reminisce
refuse radio routine rhetoric
record radness reject regression
risk rations reaping refreshment
reluctant ruffians' rectums ravaged
reject rolls royce rejoice robes ragged
representing regularity
roving russian riveras rarely
rolling rocks refridgerated
rants reiterated
rookies ralph remy
rap-rock's regulator remains ready
rifles recoil
ricochet reverberate requiems
republicans reload remingtons
radiant
revolting
ripe roses rise 'round roaches
rachel ray rutebaga roasted
rogan resemblance region resplendent remoteness
reporters respect rolexes reflect
rolodex reveals ram revving rednecks
reverands raping raw ripping ritlin ravenous
rebel regiments rioting romping rattling radissons
rockin rigorous rapping right reppin regular residents
rising revenue rendering ryan's remnants relavent

4. 03 Altima

SEE ME RIDING IN THE 03 ALTIMA FEELING LIKE A BOSS
CUZ I JUST GOT PAID AND I GOT THE DAY OFF
SIXTY HOURS LAST WEEK? THAT'S 700 BUCKS
NOW I CAN PAY MY SPEEDING TICKET AND BUY BUD

I BEEN BROKE SINCE LAAAAST
SATURDAY I HAD TO GO TO COINSTAR WITH A JAR JUST GET GAAAAAS
TO GET TO WORK WHERE I'M FLIPPING BURGERS TILL I GET SWAMP AAAASS
MY FOLKS DON'T OWN NO BUSINESS
I JUST CUT FISH AND DID DISHES BUT WHEN IT'S PAYDAY?
I'M BIMPIN
I GOT OLD DUDES IN MY PANTS (PAUSE!)
ULYSSES S. GRANT (DAWG!)
HAD A LOT OF LONG DAYS NOW I'M WHIPPIN BIMPIN BUMPIN ANDRE AND ANTOINE
THAT'S OUTKAST, I'M A MISFIT
I GOT NO WHIPS FOR CHRISTMAS
MY BROKE FOLKS IF YOU LISTENING SING THIS SHIT

[PRECHORUS]
YOU COULD FUCK WAY MORE WOMEN
SPEND WAY MORE CASH
YOU ROCK 2 CHAAAAINZZ!!!
YOU COULD KICK MY ASS
YOU COULD DRINK MORE LIQUOR
YOU COULD SMOKE MORE WEED
BUT YOU'LL NEVER FEEL AS GOOD AS ME WHEN I'M RIDING IN THE

[CHORUS]
03 ALTIMA FEELING LIKE A BOSS
CUZ I JUST GOT PAID AND I GOT THE DAY OFF
SIXTY HOURS LAST WEEK? THAT'S 700 BUCKS
NOW I CAN PAY MY SPEEDING TICKET AND BUY BUD

LET ME SEE YOUR HANDS HIGH IF YOUR CASH LOW
IF YOUR MANAGER IS AN ASSHOLE
IF YOUR FAVORITE BAND BROKE UP BUT YOU COULDN'T GET THE SHIFT OFF FOR THEIR LAST SHOW
YOU'RE WORKING NINE DAYS A WEEK
NOW YOU AND YOUR GIRL DON'T SPEAK
BUT WHEN YOU GET YOUR PAYCHECK YOU CAN BUY THE LIQUOR THAT'LL MAKE HER WANNA FREAK
DO THAT SHIT THAT MAKES YOU FEEL PERSONALLY
LIKE SPOSE DOES WHEN HE PUTS A VERSE TO BEATS
WHEN YOU GET TO UPGRADE FROM COMMERCIAL WEED
AND YOU STOP BY YOUR WORK BUT JUST TO BEEP
CUZ YOU'RE A HAVE-NOT GOT A PAD-LOCK
ON THE BULK-HEAD AT YOUR DAD'S SPOT
THEN YELL THIS SHIT LIKE AD-ROCK WHEN IT MMM DROPS!

[PRECHORUS]
[CHORUS]
[BRIDGE]

I JUST GOT AN ORDER IN RIGHT AFTER I CLEANED THE GRILL
(CLEANED THE GRILL)
I BEEN WORKING OVERTIME BUT IT STILL DOESN'T COVER THE BILLS
(IT DON'T COVER THE BILL)
MY LANDLORD RAISED THE RENT AGAIN THEN MY BOSS CUT THE HOURS BACK (HE CUT MY HOURS BAACK)
SO HOW CAN I GET AHEAD UNLESS THEY CUT ME SOME SLAAACK

MAN, MY CREDIT ISN'T RATED A
SO YOU KNOW WHERE I'LL B
WORKING BURNING PIRATED C-Ds
WHPIPIN WITH MY GAS TANK ON E
DRESSED LIKE I DON'T GIVE A F
BANK ACCOUNT NEGATIVE ONE G
CAN'T AFFORD TO SAY H-I TO A J
BUT WHEN YOU SEE ME ON PAYDAY!!!
I'LL FRONT THE LOOT
I'LL BUY THE BAG
I'LL COP THE BEER
I'LL PAY THE TAB
I'LL DRIVE THE WHIP
I'LL BUY THE GAS
I GOT THIS SHIT
DON'T GOTTA PAY ME BACK
I'M FEELING LIKE I'M SEAN
CARTER DALY PUFF COMBS BUT WHEN IT'S ALL GONE?

FUCK IT I'M STILL RIDING IN MY 03 ALTIMA

[CHORUS]

5. I'm Starving

Ain't shit changed still bony no Bowflex / Googling some titties when my girl won't give me throat sex (swag) / Stressing, strung out Kotex / Wishing I could get my money back from my old checks / American proletariat derelict no inheritance heiresses think my lair is embarrassing / I'm the stoner Spider-Man ripping chemical vitamins spitting general cyphering gribbing emerald Heinekens / I sold LPs, smoked LBs / You smell me? That's Wells Beach / I'm on my soil chilling on a winter's night / I ran out of oil that's that shit I don't like / Came in the game with a brain not an amulet / I need the cannabis not what is on the mannequin / I procreated so you know I need the money / Must've saw me looking scrawny and they thought he wasn't hungry

[Chorus] I'm starving I'm starving / Shit I'll eat all the food in your apartment / I'm starving I'm starving / I might eat all of the shit up out the garbage / I'm starving I'm starving / I'll eat the whole turkey you don't gotta carve it / I'm starving I'm starving / I'll eat the walls and the ceiling and the carpet

It's that ugly white rapper no not Paul Wall / but the one from the north doesn't say "all y'all" / I got a 10 sack that's like 8 more balls / but I'm gonna blow trees till the acorns fall / Ayup / It's like I'm riding in a beamer when I'm in a Nissan with Ryan Peters on the speakers / Ayup / Same shit people that I came with still up in Maine bitch I ain't that famous / And this isn't commercial but it would be if I hadn't been dropped from Universal / They say you gotta pay to fly / You want filets on a plane well them stakes is high / So I'm sitting at McDonalds / I don't got a dollar / I might spit in it and then sip the saliva out the bottle / I procreated so you know I need the money / Must've saw me looking scrawny and they thought he wasn't hungry

[Chorus]

Skinny women lose weight like… / Bring it! / This is East of Eden mixed with Reasonable Doubt / Made an album for the label but they never put it out / Paid my dues now I'm waiting on the couch / Made enough off rap for downpayments on a house / Ayup / Come hither the blunt and drum hitter the humble humdinger the mumbling gunslinger / Ayup / Truck beds middle class bud hev Nickleback little cash 'nuff said cripple swag / Spizzy / Back like a tramp stamp locale / Made a hundred grand in a month but I'm broke now / Spizzy / Luckily, that's what my steez is: genius covered in the crumbs from the Cheez Its / Got the fame minimal, nickname pivotal, whip miserable, ribcage visible / Uh I procreated so you know I need the money must've saw me looking scrawny and they thought he wasn't hungry

[Chorus]

Skinny women lose weight like… / "We really need food"

6. In Your Dreams

I used to have work clothes looking like I rolled in a dirt road / Boss was in jerk-mode now I got fans in the first row / Used to blaze two in a Prelude / With my eyes all glassy like a space-suit / Spittin gettin pissy like a drug test / Sippin' on a blood red Bud Hev' / but I'm the best on the beats, it's destined to be, S to the P / O to the S to the E / emceed got cash for my speech / never went to sleep without grass on my cleats / I been earning a permanent place and taking it passionately / but my biceps are looking like Avril Lavigne's / I rep for Maine rap I'm yet to change that / Sweat where my taint at, yep, the same cat / Jizzin' on her vertebrae the way I came back / If he ain't wack, he must have "Spizzy" on the nametag / I been spittin' what the citizens living and my vision isn't primitive is it / It's like visiting when I deliver uninhibited riveting images of villagers' children / I got definitive scribbling / Opponents groaning when I'm holding paper / They must be unfamiliar with my nomenclature / Hating thug rappers give me love after and my raps attract biters like a bug zapper

[Chorus]
They told me in your dreams / Would I ever get to do this rap shit / Kept my head up and looked past it / I don't know about you / But I wanna do what I love and I'ma do it till the day that I'm done / They told me in your dreams / Would I ever get to live this life so I'm just making sure I'm living it right / I don't know about you / But I'ma keep my trees rolled up at the top looking down like "What!"

[Chris Webby]
You can find me posted up / I stay in the cut / Fat dutch with my hand on my nuts / Wear a watch just cuz  I don't look at it much / Shit, I don't slap the bass yo I'm never in a rush - get it? / Just a stoner no college diploma but got a bag that's full of sour with a godly aroma / Got a load of bullshit I gotta deal with on the daily / Success is a motherfuckin' double edged blade, b / That's how it is just a matter of fact / I'm a humble dude, yo, I just happen to rap / And I do it to the fullest what's the matter with that? / Shit I put the work in, lemme gather my stacks / Shouts to Maine O.O.B. from the 207 to the 203 / Doing me kicks clean when I step up in the scene / Fuckin' with me? In your dreams! Bitch, Webby!

[Chorus]

I met some snakes in the apple like first couple / Burned in that kerfuffle, learned the ropes and turnbuckles / So not to burst bubbles / but you must be wylin' if you think I will be silent like the word 'subtle' / I risked $100,000 on Spose, bros / If you're not 'all in' on you, you oughta fold / Hunkered in my bunker tryna get it / Until I'm light-headed like spelunkers in a crevice / I got crowds yelling back like we're bickering because I spit the shit that's sicker than a chick who's sniffling / The formulas a simple thing you get the tickets sit and then you sip a drink I spit the hits that get you tickled pink around the nipple ring / Lemme show you where Maine is / I'm from the pines got lines like a flame-broiled angus / I slang language / Been sellin' it from the genesis / Be ready cuz I'm heavy as Webby in the Connecticut scene / but by L.L. Bean, they said IN YOUR DREAMS

[Chorus]

7. Hipsterlude

I wanna be a hipster / Get a couple pairs of pants from my sister / Get wax for my mustache whiskers / Keep it going till I'm looking like a drifter / I wanna be a hipster / Let everybody know that I'm looking / For some cigarettes and some couch cushions / For the day that I move out to Brookyln / And start a band / And the name of the band will be some symbols / And our music will never sound simple / And when people start to like us we'll break up cuz people liking is lame and we're weird / Weird / Weirder than you / I don't sip an I.P.A. / I sip that double I.P.A. Vanilla Stout / brewed with nutmeg and barley from some country besides Bavaria because Bavaria's too trendy and I don't like anything that's trendy even though I'm just a fuckin' poser / I wanna be a hipster / Get a couple pairs of pants from my sister / Get wax for my mustache whiskers / Keep it going till I'm looking like a drifter / I wanna be a hipster / Let everybody know that I'm looking / For some cigarettes and some couch cushions / For the day that I move out to Brookyln / And start a band

8. The Peoples Douche

I'm sorry to interrupt your evening at the eatery / but I'm about to freak what you believe unbelievably / You will see, everytime Sparker comma Peter speaks / It's bacon for the Jews and gay marriage for the Jesus freaks / VHS tapes flying out the RedBox / All the Yankees fans cheering for the Red Sox / and the neo-nazis all growing dreadlocks / Listening to ERykah Badu until their head nods / I got Facebook accounts for the Amish / Throw a little steak in while I'm making Vegans omelets / Democrats out hunting in the forestry / Republicans giving tax cuts to minorities / All the beer snobs chilling sippin Natty Ice / while I take a bachelor and match him with a battered wife / Got the hipsters clothes shopping at Wal-Mart / Hanging with the B-Team acting like their all stars / Unplugging tanning booths in Little Italy / Hanging with some country music fans bumping Lil' B / Making A&Rs spit bars in vans / while reading poetry to some Nascar fans / Look

[Chorus]

It's Peter Sparker in this bitch / I'm the people's douche and I will never quit until the day I see the poor become the rich / Or the rich become the poor / So they're holding open doors / For the single moms who buy their food up at the dollar store /

I got some alpha males thinking they're lame / Donald Trump just asked me for spare change / The Westborough Baptist Church is having gay sex / and I got the sneakerheads shopping up at Pay Less / and I got the teenagers all leaving social media and reading what a library is on Wikipedia / I could make a morning person sleep until the leaving shit I got a Lebron James moving back to Cleveland / I could get the housewives to all stop gossiping and get the Taliban starting all girls colleges (colleges) / Illiterate people they all wanna read about it / Lets do something sweet and not tweet about it / Dead beat dads asking where the diapers are / Drag queens all dancing in the biker bar / Jocks giving geeks props as they pass in the hall / I got Kobe Bryant passing the ball / C'mon

[Chorus]
Man the day is gonna come when the bosses will be generous and all the employees will get some benefits for once / and until the day it does, you know I'm your fuckin' bud / It's the People's Douche so let me see those dirty hands up / put your dirty hands up / if you only got a dollar in your pocket and that shit ain't enough / put your hands up / put your hands up / if you're not here to put em up cuz you had to work and couldn't come

Monday, October 22, 2012

Spose announces The Yard Sale Tour!

To coincide with the release later this week of Spose's delayed "The Yard Sale" project, Spose will venture out on a multiple city tour with support from Cam Groves, Jay Caron & Mike B of Educated Advocates, and Kristina Kentigian. The full tour dates are listed in the poster below and below the poster if for some reason you can't read white text:


11/26 - PHILADELPHIA, PA - KUNG FU NECKTIE
11/28 - TOLEDO, OH - FRANKIES
11/29 - DEKALB, IL - HOUSE CAFE
11/30 - MINNEAPOLIS, MN - HELL'S KITCHEN
12/04 - ST. LOUIS, MO - FUBAR
12/05 - CLEVELAND, OH - PEABODY'S 
12/06 - PITTSBURGH, PA - SHADOW LOUNGE
12/07 - ALLENTOWN, PA - CROCODILE ROCK
12/08 - STATEN ISLAND, NY - FULL CUP
12/14 - PORTLAND, ME - THE BIG EASY



Wednesday, May 30, 2012

PDank Hoodies now on sale!! First 25 get signed "The Audacity!" free!

So, what's up bromeys! It's Spose. Today is a big day. Ever since I made the PDank logo a few years ago people have been asking for me to put it on a shirt. So, I printed it on a shirt. Then, people wanted it printed on a sweatshirt. So, I printed it on a sweatshirt. Now, finally, as of this morning, The Official PDank Hoodie (as seen in the video for Gee Willikers) is available for purchase right here at PDank.com! Here's an unflattering-yet-somehow-still-cool screen shot of me wearing it:



As an added bonus, the first 25 people to purchase The Official PDank Hoodie will receive a signed copy of my new album "The Audacity!"As of posting this, we've already sold three without even announcing it, so buy yours quick and get the signed copy of the new album for your PDank collection. Thanks forever. - Spose

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

VIDEO: Spose - Swagless (feat. Stiky-1)


Here's the second video off The Audacity! directed by Jason M Bosch. This time Spose and Stiky-1 are barnstorming in Swagless. Turn your swag down to zero and enjoy and share with your bromeys!!

Monday, April 9, 2012

The Audacity! Teaser



Spose just wrapped up filming the video for the first single off his third album The Audacity! (out April 17 on P. Dank) entitled "Gee Willikers." Here's a quick teaser to moisten you for the album/video/single release!!! 

Monday, March 19, 2012

VIDEO: Educated Advocates - "Just Us Three"

Spose & PDank are proud to present "Just Us Three," the new video from Educated Advocates directed by Jason M. Bosch. New album "Back to Class" available now on iTunes and at Bull Moose Music.